:')

Dear Riduan ,

This is the letter I'll never send to you. What's left of my heart is in this letter, and if only it were as easy as to give you this letter, I would. I never knew love until I knew you. I shared with you my mind, body, heart, and soul. We shared a feeling so deep that simply cannot be put into words. We shared our lives together; through family, God, our dreams, passions, goals in life, through love.

The love in my heart for you will never change. I was told that time heals everything. I've come to believe time just makes things a little easier to deal with. But the truth is, I still dream of you, I still cry myself to sleep thinking of you, and I still look up at our star wishing you were near me. I get dressed every day only to impress you in case we see each other. I still look out the window hoping you will pull into the driveway. I check the caller ID ... just in case.

Most of all, I pray that you will accomplish your dreams with strength and pride and honor. I still love you and want you to have the best of life. I just wish I was a part of it. I never knew that someone could ever hurt as much as I do. What scares me is I'm sure the pain in life gets worse. I guess I just want you by my side to ease it. You have hurt me in countless ways, in ways you promised you would never. In ways I never knew you could or would ever do. It is only worth mentioning because it hasn't shaken my love for you. I want to believe in forgiving and forgetting. If you would only let me forgive you. If only you showed me you cared.

Take care love